In week nine I was instructed to respond to questions in a vlog format about my second draft for my narrative project. I the second draft we I had to take my original story and write about an alternative outcome. This style was similar to a style called fanfiction. More information about fanfiction can be found here What is Fan Fiction -- and why is it making people nervous? (Stephen Downes). The rewriting process was a little more difficult because the first draft was in first person point of view. After listening to Rewinding and Rewriting: The Alternate Universes in Our Head (Hidden Brain Podcast) this helped me write my third person point of view second draft. This vlog is my second ever vlog but I believe it was better than my first. Thank you for any comments that you leave. Every comment helps. The vlog will be down below.
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In Week 8 of I was assigned to create a vlog post talking about my progression from week one to week 8. Making this video was a little difficult because it was my first time on camera and I did not feel as comfortable as I did when I write. IN the vlog I have mentioned blog post Composing a Present Scene, Composing Action into Scenes, and Composing a Past Scene. Thankyou for reading the video is down below. I cant wait to read the comments.
This is the blog post for week seven and this week I found a founded poem within my first draft of my narrative project. This poem is some inside of my feelings of my convocation with my mother when I had to tell her about what happened that school that day. I used a free form excerpting and remixing style most in my poem because it helped me to add and take away small details that I did not need to make my poem the way it is. I also found it the easiest to use. Thank you for reading.
The Feelings With In She looks with a death stare I began reading her anger I thought about the trouble I was in Why would I throw a snowball at the principle Her anger is like chaos now I do not even know what to say This fight is now serious My mind starts to go into a cold and slushy feeling You do not get into trouble I told myself I start to be more and more nervous by the second Then all of a sudden I begin to think to myself I do not feel mad or nervous I feel better I feel happy · Do you think the narrative provides enough descriptive language to create a compelling found poem? I found that I did put enough description in my narrative project but I defiantly need to add more because creating the poem was a difficult task. · Do you think the descriptive language more so creates a setting or delivers the subtext of a theme? The description I used in my narrative project was used more for the setting and not the theme · In revision, will you focus on using description to develop more of the setting or more of a theme? I will focus on adding more description to both the setting and theme because both have room to work on In week six this blog is constructed to make edits to my first past scene blog. I have edited the detail I have put into the scene and have added some background info. I have also added a "telling section" after my blog for further background information regarding people in the scene.
I look at the clock reading 2:25. Only 15 more minutes until we get out of school, I thought in my head. The time keeps ticking and as every second goes by I getting more and more happy. Only one minute to go now and everyone starts putting their books away. The bell rings so all of my classmates and I race to the door to go outside into the cold crisp snow. I run down the middle school stairs and take position next to my friends. We squat down and wait for the perfect time. Then all of a sudden I throw a snowball and everyone joins. We start a massive snowball fight right in front of the school. Snow is going everywhere and everyone is getting hit. We throw snowball after snowball and the chaos went on for five minutes. The administration quickly rush out of the school and down the slippery stairs to stop the fight and I grab a hand full of snow and throw it right at the principal. “Splash” The snowball nails him right in the chest. I start to run for my life as fast as I could run. I look behind me and the principal is right on my heels. Then I feel a tug on my jacket and a security guard grabbed me and gave me to the principal. At this moment I knew I was in trouble. The principle brought me back into the school and a feeling of anger was going through my head as I hear the sound of my wet shoes slapping against the tile floor. The principal then pushed me into his office and sat me down where my friend Jordan was already sitting. The principal then sat down at his desk and went to his computer. “Yo what’s up Jordan” I said puzzled on why he was in the office too. “What’s up man he responded” looking back at me with a frightened look on his face. “Why are you here?” I said to him as we sat there in front of the principal “I got caught throwing a snowball, how about you?” he said “ Me too” I responded now feeling a little better about myself knowing I was not the only one who was caught. As we sit there waiting for instructions a teacher of mine then walked in to talk to the principle and said to me “Your mom is not going to like this Ryan” I looked at him and said back “Why don’t you mind your own damn business”. The principle then told him to leave the office. As I sit here I feel a nervous feeling and do not know what is going to happen next. The principle then tells us “you both are giving a one day suspension for the fight you have started”. The feeling instantly increased because I knew my parents would be mad at me for getting suspended. As I walk home in the slushy ice I finally reach my house. I say to my mom “hey I got suspended on school today.” Then she replies “for what?” in a playful manner because I have never been suspended before and she did not believe me. “For throwing a snowball at the principal” I replied without even having to think about what to say. She looks at me and says “are you serious?” as she begins to believe what I’m saying. In this scene I am in middle school and I had the great idea that my friends and I should have a snowball fight after school even though we knew it was against school policy. I end up throwing a snowball at the principal because I thought it would be funny (and it was) then I ended up getting caught by a security guard and was basically pulled to the principal’s office. Later in the story a teacher of mine that I didn’t really have any problems with came into the office and said something to me. I don’t know if he was trying to be funny or something but I didn’t like what he said so I told him to mind his own damn business. I went home later and told my mom. In blog 5 I will be composing an alternate screen that was not actually in Charlotte Perkins Stetson’s The Yellow Wall-Paper. I will also be creating a creative nonfiction scene about a time when I chose a decision to create a negative outcome in my life. Although my negative outcome is not too serious it is a funny choice I made that had consequences.
“At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies. He said that after the wall-paper was changed it would be the heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and then that gate at the head of the stairs, and so on. "You know the place is doing you good," he said, "and really, dear, I don't care to renovate the house just for a three months' rental." "Then do let us go downstairs," I said, "there are such pretty rooms there." Then he took me in his arms and called me a blessed little goose, and said he would go down cellar, if I wished, and have it whitewashed into the bargain.” He then leaves the room shutting the door behind himself. Without letting him realize I placed a folded piece of my writing in the lock of the door just as he closes it leaving the door unlocked. I take a big breath hoping he does not turn around and exhale as I hear him walking down the hallway. Now that he is gone I can get myself together. I think in my head again and again is the escape even worth it or should I stay with the man I believe loves me. I come to my senescence and begin to walk to the door. I try to not make a sound as the creaky door inches open and I begin to see the white hallway walls. I creep my head out and look to the left, then to the right. I see nobody. I step out into the hallway and begin to walk down. The hallway is lined with doors and room numbers. As I walk the room numbers begin to count down, 110, 108, 106, 104. I’m getting closer to the last room. I continue to walk and I see a double door with a big red exit sign on top of it. I see nobody at the desk so I run for the door and push them open. When I get outside I feel the cold wet rain on my head since I have come here. Then I think to myself about the sunny beautiful environment outside of my window. I stand in the wet rain and think to myself “Was the beautiful garden actually there or was it just another piece of wall paper?” The Yellow Wall-Paper I look at the clock reading 2:25. Only 15 more minutes until we get out of school, I thought in my head. The time keeps ticking and as every second goes by I getting more and more happy. Only one minute to go now and everyone starts putting their books away. The bell rings so me and all of my class mates race to the door to go outside into the cold snow. I run down the middle school stairs and take position next to my friends. We squat down and wait for the perfect time. Then all of a sudden I throw a snowball and everyone joins. We start a massive snowball fight right in front of the school. Snow is going everywhere and everyone is getting hit. The administration rush out of the school to stop the fight and I grab a hand full of snow and throw it right at the principal. The snow ball nails him right in the chest. I start to run for my life as fast as I could run. I look behind me and the principal is right on my heels. Then I feel a tug on my jacket and a security guard grabbed me and gave me to the principal. At this moment I knew I was in trouble. The principle brought me back in to the school and sat me down in his office where my friend Jordan was already sitting. A teacher of mine then walked in to talk to the principle and said to me “Your mom is not going to like this Ryan” I looked at him and said back “Why don’t you mind your own damn business”. The principle then told him to leave the office. As I sit here I feel a nerves feeling and do not know what is going to happen next. The principle then tells us “you both are giving a one day suspension for the fight you have started”. The feeling instantly increased because I knew my parents would be mad at me for getting suspended. As I walk home in the slushy ice I finally reach my house. I say to my mom “hi I got suspended at school today” then she replies “for what”. I then tell her the story. |
Ryan
I will use this blog to communicate with my classmates and give my perspective about different topics. Archives
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